Waist High Romantic
by Linorien
Summary: Inspired by a conversation on twitter regarding the quote "It's true you don't see many dwarf women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for dwarf men," and how LOTR would be different if Gimli was actually a girl. This story is a story about the complicated romantic stories that evolve when gender is flipped.
1. Chapter 1-Diary

Dear Diary,

Today I set out on my grand adventure. I successfully convinced Father to allow me out of the mines. Gimli helped me too. The original plan called for him to go and me to stay. However, Gimli is busy trying to determine the melting point of quartz. Together we convinced Father that we should switch places. The key point of our argument was that no one had to know. Only those we travelled to Rivendell with would be privy to our secret. He agreed that we could change names and as long as I always wore my armor, no one would be any the wiser. So this afternoon I said goodbye to my brother and to my old life. This diary shall be the only hint of who I truly am. And so, to complete the illusions, I shall henceforth be known solely as Gimli. Onwards and upwards!

Gimli

Dear Diary,

We reached Rivendell today. We took the longer was so that everyone got used to calling me by my new name and could be counted on to not slip up. Rivendell is a lovely place, a little too sunny though. I fear my skin will burn. However, I am enjoying the over-the-top amount of flowers. The mines are usually devoid of all decoration except for stone carvings. Tomorrow is the council.

Gimli

Dear Diary,

I'll be gone longer than I thought. During the council, Frodo Baggins volunteered to take the ring to Mordor. Gandalf the wizard said he would go, as well as Aragorn and Legolas. That looked like too good of an adventure to pass up. Along with a few others, Elrond proclaimed us the "Fellowship of the Ring". A very noble title I think. We set out at dawn tomorrow. I'm excited.

Gimli

Dear Diary,

This is going to be a grand adventure. I have begun to learn about my traveling companions. Gandalf Greyhame I had seen before in the mines. He gives off an aura of authority and I feel like he is in control of more than it seems. Aragorn seems to be close with Gandalf; it didn't know that was possible but it looks like Aragorn and Gandalf are orchestrating a great plan that will change the world. I trust the wizard but the ranger spooks me. He moves far too quietly and can disappear on a whim. It's just not right. He's walking over here now-will write more later.

Aragorn will be trouble. He asked me lots of questions about my home and my family. Thankfully we had practiced this on the journey to Rivendell. But he came close to shattering my cover. I shudder to think of the consequences. But onto the others. Legolas is a prissy. Because he is an elf he can walk lightly on the ground and he never gets dirty. Unlike my hair, his is always carefully braided. Despite these annoyances, he seems nice. He also has unbelievable sight which I am sure will be useful. Boromir is very dull. He keeps talking about how the ring can be used for the "glory of Gondor" I don't understand the power of the ring, but I think Boromir has it completely wrong.

Gimli


	2. Chapter 2- The Conversation

Aragorn walked over to where Gimli sat cleaning his armour. Silently he sat down beside him. Without any lead in he said softly, "you're a woman." Gimli looked up, wide-eyed.

"That's ridiculous. What makes you think that?"

"Let's walk," replied Aragorn. Gimli set down his armour and followed Aragorn as he walked back into the trees. Once they were out of sight of the rest of the fellowship, Aragorn motioned toward a fallen tree and they sat down, both staring straight ahead. "Gimli is your brother's name, is it not?" Aragorn began. Gimli stayed silent. "I've met your father before," he continued. "At the time he had two children, one boy, one girl." He turned and stared intently at Gimli. "If I remember rightly, that young lady seemed particularly adventurous. I believe she once swapped clothes for a day with her brother." The corners of Gimli's mouth twitched upward in remembrance. After a moment of silence, Aragorn returned his gaze to a distant tree as he said softly, "your secret is safe with me."

"Why?" Gimli asked.

"Why won't I tell the others?" Gimli nodded. "It's not my secret to tell. I assume you have a fair reason for disguising your sex and it is not your fault that I figured it out."

"Do you think any of the others will figure it out?" Gimli questioned.

"Legolas, perhaps." Aragorn thought for a minute. "He's met dwarves before. Boromir is too preoccupied with trying to gain the Ring. Frodo is sick with worry and the others are busy protecting him." He counted on his fingers. "I'm not sure about Gandalf." He looked back at Gimli and grinned. "Gandalf might know but is too preoccupied trying to stop everyone from killing each other. Don't worry about it. Save the stress for after the war." The grin faded and he looked back through the trees.

"Do you really think that we can win this?" Gimli looked up at Aragorn, the fear evident in her soft brown eyes.

"I have to believe that we will," he said. "I have to have hope that day by day we are making progress. I may not be able to see it every day, sometimes it might feel as if we are going backwards, but in the grand scheme of things it must make a difference. Just as the insignificant act of a bird dropping a seed can give way to a magnificent forest, so too do our small actions play a role in Manwë's great plan." He stopped. "I have hope because without it, I am nothing."


	3. Chapter 3- Diary

Dear Diary,

Aragorn has guesses. Evidently he is older than he appears. Now I just have to worry about Legolas finding out. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

In other news, we have discussed to go through Kazadum. We tried to go over the mountains but the mountain wouldn't have it. The snow storm followed us and there were fell voices in the air. Poor hobbits, the snow was up to their necks. And they still wore no shoes! Then there was that elf. He just ran over the snow and said he was off to fetch the sun. But on the upside, tomorrow we are heading under the mountain and Balin will treat us to a grand feast. Good thing he has never seen my brother or me before. That would be a problem. I think I hear wolves, though it may be my imagination, Father has told me many stories of his adventure. Time to sleep until my watch.

Gimli

Dear Diary,

Gandalf has fallen into the Abyss.

Gimli

Dear Diary,

Never have I laid eyes upon such beauty as I find in Lothlorien. This beauty is not one of the many trees and hills Legolas has shown me, nay; it is the beauty of the Lady Galadriel. How I wish I could be like her. She is beautiful and powerful but can travel as freely as any man. She has man need for disguises. As she stared into my eyes, searching the depths of my soul, I felt two things: pity, for my need for a disguise, and a question. What is the real reason? It was as if she was telling me to search within myself for the true reason of my disguise and desire to join the fellowship. As I enjoy the restful gays ahead I will be able to weep for Gandalf and explore the depths of my soul.

Gimli

Dear Diary,

We have left Lothlorien. The elves gave us boats to start down the river. We have yet to decide the course we will take. Boromir wants to go to Minas Tirith and I, for one, cannot deny that the thought of a good feast in a stone city. Yet that does not seem to be his motivation. He is after that cursed ring. Frodo is right to be wary of him. Aragorn has yet to decide our course. He seems to know more than the rest of us. We got a glimpse of that in Lothlorien and earlier today at Argonath. For a second he was no longer a weary ranger but one of thie majestic Kings of old. His dark black hair was blowing in the wind and he guided the boat with strong, skillful strokes. His eyes shone like none other. My heartbeat quickened just looking at him and I thought it would explode with pride as he declared his lineage. He would make a truly noble king.

Gimli

Dear Diary,

A vile curse upon Boromir! He has caused the breaking of our fellowship. He tried to steal the ring from Frodo and so the young hobbit decided to leave by himself and take the ring to Mordor alone. Sam has gone with him. I hope they do not get lost. And then, in the chaos, a group of orcs stole Merry and Pippin. Boromir tried to redeem himself and defend them but he failed in that too. Legolas and I had come to answer the call of his horn, but we were too late. We found Aragorn weeping over his body. I suspect he was weeping for far more than just Boromir's death. That man often looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. In a way he does. If our quest fails…. So now we have resolved to chase after the orcs in hope of rescuing the little ones. We ran many leagues today and we will run many more until we find them. Lembas bread will keep us strong. But I need my beauty sleep.

Gimli

Dear Diary,

My. Legs. Kill. On our fourth day we came across riders from Rohan. They said they slaughtered a group of orcs the night before. They said they left none alive. And indeed as Aragorn inspected the area surrounding the smoldering pile of flesh, he could find no hobbit tracks. However, he refuses to leave until he has looked again in the light of day. He figures that maybe the small light tracks will be impossible to spot in the dark. But now we must rest on the edge of the feared Fangorn Forest. Aragorn had continually warned against cutting the trees. You'd think they would yell at me or something!

Gimli

Dear Diary,

Good thing I did not harm the trees. Turns out there are living trees called Ents in the forest. The oldest one, Treebeard, has taken the hobbits with him. Gandalf has reassured us they will be fine. Oh yea, Gandalf is back. He is now Gandalf the White. And he still talks in riddles, though Aragorn seems to understand him. We swapped tales and we are on the road to Rohan. I don't like horses but Gandalf's horse, Shadowfax, is the best in the world. I could ride him all day. (My cousin would be laughing at that.)

Gimli


	4. Chapter 4- The Revalation

"Aragorn?" Legolas walked up to him in the dimly lit hall of Edoras.

"Yes?" he replied.

"Can we speak? Alone." Aragorn glanced in his direction, nodded, then walked out into the night. The two of them walked until they reached a lonely hill and they stood silently before Legolas spoke in his native tongue. "I think Gimli has a big secret he has been keeping." Aragorn didn't respond but his mind was racing. Legolas continued. "I think he is a girl."

"How sure are you?" he asked quietly.

"Something just doesn't feel right. I don't know many dwarves but Gimli acts differently from those I've seen. Something about the way he thinks too. It seems, well, more emotion driven. Maybe it's a dwarf trait, and maybe I'm miss-reading him-but my instincts are normally right." He sighed. "I don't know." There was a silence as both were lost in their thoughts about Gimli.

"You are right," Aragorn finally said. Legolas snapped his head up.

"How long have you known?"

"I figured it out soon after we left from Rivendell."

"How?" Legolas was impressed.

"I've met Glóin before and I've seen his children. The Gimli we know has a twin brother. He prefers staying at home whereas our Gimli enjoys adventures. But who would let a girl go on a quest? She had to take her brother's identity. I only wonder how many people are privy to the secret." He sighed and Legolas echoed.

"It seems but a petty problem in this war," said Legolas. "Yet without the little things, there is no hope."


End file.
